short funny affirmations short funny affirmations

158. 64. When our phones fall, we panic; but when our friends fall, we laugh. I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle. 248. 168. Using affirmations can significantly impact your outlook on life, but saying such serious statements to yourself can often make you feel silly. If you want flowers on February 14, plant them now., 6. Being funny seems to be taking less effort. 126. 1. Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. "May your yoga pants be stretchy, your coffee be strong and your Wednesday be short.". Roy Lichtenstein. If we shouldnt eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? Choose a job you love and youll never have to work a day in your lifebecause that field isnt hiring. I am stepping out of my comfort zone, no matter how small the step. 67. Positive music, resilience, inner strength and a growth mindset lead to success!. 138. The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa. 157. no rich foods. The library, because it has so many stories. Yes, of course, I am athletic, I surf the Internet every day. I can do this. Today, I choose to put on my positive pants. Maybe there are no excuses to be lazy, but Im still going to keep looking. They log in. What is the tallest building in the entire world? Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Short Positive Affirmations set the pace for your day. Its called tomorrow. They allow you to focus on the positive and what is working in your life rather than dwelling on the negative. I have no time to worry; I have to be awesome., 15. Steven Wright 196. "It's going to be hard, but hard does not mean impossible.". 223. Make it inspiring. Find a short calm and peaceful moment in your day and use it for setting your mindset up for happiness. 152. You wanna know who Im in love with? Relaxing the mind with some funny affirmations is an easy way to reduce stress and keep yourself grounded in moments of turmoil. Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. I tried, but they wanted cash. I have Alzheimers bulimia, first I eat everything in sight and then I forget to puke. Steven Alexander Wright. Everyone brings happiness to this office. Your life is your message to the world. 1. Love your enemies. 113. It can get you out of a tight corner and people who lack a sense of humor cannot do. We may speak different languages, but we all laugh the same. Hence, avoid using past or future tenses. Because it was soda pressing. Some people are like clouds. These affirmations are funny, humorous, witty and sarcastic for work, friends, family, mom, to boost your self-esteem, confidence and strength. 130. 144. 117. Allow yourself to laugh if you feel the need. - F. Then perhaps youd find value in these articles on how to write affirmations and the benefits of affirmations. What better way to do that than through your own self-talk? Alison Boulter. Milton Berle, 245. Jackie Collins 207. Czech proverb, 261. Watch popular content from the following creators: Maaryfairyy(@maaryfairyy), Jasmines Garden(@jasminesgarden23), Dazley(@dazzlemeup), JaySean(@jaysean), Nathalie Munoz(@nathaliemunozx3) . Walter Bagehot. If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible? You can write them down and use them whenever youre attending a social event or if you simply just want to make yourself laugh. Dont give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer. 234. 5. Funny affirmations youll find here will boost your confidence and make you laugh. My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldnt walk to the donut shop. 18. Nobody is listening, but you still feel embarrassed. I am capable of rewriting my grievances and transforming my fears. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. 4. Feel free to pick a few of these affirmations and say them to yourself the next time youre overwhelmed, stressed, or just dealing with negative self-talk. 246. If you cant laugh at your own problems, call me and Ill laugh at them. 1. My sense of humor makes the world a better place., 8. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Not me, but somebody does. 107. 82. I am on a seafood diet. 10. East. "Life is like an elevator - Sometimes it stops. George Burns If I lose my hopes, I am afraid my mom will still scold me for taking it out and showing it to friends. 159. With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. Im multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. "Life is like a roller coaster pic - scary at the moment, funny looking back.". Because he was always spotted. My jokes do. 184. When I can laugh at myself, life becomes so much easier. Remember: Dont Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. I used to have winter fat but now I have spring rolls. 17. 160. 55. Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? I used to have winter fat but now I have spring rolls. Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world. And their purpose certainly isn't to minimize hard feelings. But a little chocolate now and then doesnt hurt. Funny Wednesday Work Quotes. It changes your perception and these short positive affirmations have a way of changing the way you look at yourself and feel more confident. 142. 99. Not saying I hate you, but if your face was on fire and I had a glass of water, Id drink it. 109. Consider what you want to accomplish using these witty affirmations, and go for the ones that will bring you closer to that goal. I am confused between what I like the most hanging out or posting that I hung out. I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake. 135. We get so worried about being pretty lets be pretty kind, pretty funny, pretty smart, pretty strong., 9. Wouldnt exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them? I accept my body the way it is today. I love my computer because all my friends live inside it. 'Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.'. 31. Just like every Monday does on Earth. Bill Murray, 260. 68. Why is England the wettest country? Yes, officer, I saw the speed limit, I just didnt see your car. Microchips. Any text will do. 215. "If you see me talking to myself. 2. 175. 61. "Start each day with a positive thought and a grateful heart.". I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Positive affirmations aren't about tricking kids into mentally looking at life with eyes that only see what they want to see. Because if you can put a smile on your face with a little humor, I guarantee that youll feel some weight come off your shoulders.f. The biggest critics of my books are the people who never read them. - Billie Burke. 122. I am grateful for the healing power of humor. 195. They log in. Im not lazy, Im on power saving mode. I am on a seafood diet. Cry a river. 103. Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. It has nothing new to tell you. Here, we are listing down some awesome funny positive affirmations that will bring out serious positive changes in you. - Benjamin Franklin. I dont suffer from insanity. Im in desperate need of a 6-month vacation, twice a year. If you steal from one author, its plagiarism; if you steal from many, its research. I breathe in and out. Remember: Dont Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. 160. 146. I did not trip and fall. 25. Ill start this journey with my 10 favorite funny affirmations that never fail to make me laugh. 25. No No NOYes. My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy. Heres a list of important things to consider: Choosing the perfect affirmation from our list isnt much different. It was created to do amazing things. Dont worry, the spider is smaller than you. 72. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? 125. Best friends eat your food. 24. A perfectly executed joke, said at a right time and at a right place, can change an awkward situation into a comfortable one. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Related Post: 201 Awesome Short Inspirational Quotes About Life. Rodney Dangerfield. You try again, but no sound is coming out. I havent talked to my wife in three weeks. ". Life begins on Friday night. 228. I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. But sometimes affirmations may not work. Short Positive Daily Affirmations. I will go out. Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize. He who laughs last didnt get it. 171. Begin your days with these powerful, funny affirmations for self-esteem. Why become moody when you can shake your booty. The rhythm of the weekend, with its birth, its planned gaieties, and its announced end, followed the rhythm of life and was a substitute for it. 110. Positive mindset affirmations. In the morning, I cant get up. 59. What we say not only affects our lives but also has an impact on those around us. A quote to live by for when life gets bitter. Stop trying to make everyone happy. Loving yourself and believing in yourself is the first step in making these funny positive affirmations work for you. 100. 140. 1. A bargain is something you dont need at a price you cant resist. Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - TS Eliot. 232. [click_to_tweet tweet=I can always think of something funny to say. quote=I can always think of something funny to say. theme=style4], 2023 Oldtown Publishing LLC 479 State Route 17 N Funny positive affirmations do work. 277. 166. 146. 65. Mind blown! Whatever you must do todaydo it with the confidence of a 4-year-old in a Batman cape., 2. Enjoy! It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, 9. I have committed to being my most outstanding self. Franklin Jones, 259. Keep your affirmations in the present. Why did the can crusher quit his job? I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes. Its a door, thats how they work. If youre hotter than me, then that means Im cooler than you. How do trees access the internet? I have seen better days, but Ive also seen worse. 112. I know the best time to make fun. 36. I hope you have a ridiculously amazing day. 75. My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them. As I become responsible, I have got more powers. If you dont succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. Look, youre smiling! 253. 2. My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. Alright, get in the basket. Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet, miss a car payment. Albert Einstein 7. 274. I dont need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. Think about all the things you're struggling with in your life. 80 Soren Kierkegaard Quotes On Love, Life And Philosophy, Top 90 Martin Luther King Jr. I might take a nap if I get tired, but I wont quit. Sincerely, yourself. Whats the best thing about Switzerland? Discover short videos related to funny affirmations on TikTok. I'm doing great. I have no time to worry; I have to be awesome. Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place, the fridge. A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. Putting up with others shit isnt on my To-Do list today. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Should I Send My Child to Therapy? I dont know, but the flag is a big plus. For beginners who still struggle with letting their voice out, I recommend starting with funny affirmations that will relax you and make you laugh. Expect nothing and appreciate everything. I'm sorry, I have to quickly disable alarm level brown. "Sometimes the best part of my job is that the chair swivels.". What better way to do that than through your own self-talk? 267. What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? 173. I radiate calmness and tranquility, with a little side of body odor., 4. What is Mozart doing right now? As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wifes mother. Make the statements about yourself and for yourself. Every day I am devoted to my passions and dreams. Henny Youngman Ken Dodd, 255. Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? 190. All rights reserved. "Age is of no importance unless you're a cheese.". If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldnt have a job if he was any smarter. John Gotti, 6. "We . Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow as well. My windows arent dirty, my dog is painting. 8. A backbone. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. 173. Wouldnt exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them? I walk in the direction of what feels good for my soul. I just go normal from time to time. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldnt complain. Gary Delaney 219. 177. Pleasing everyone, thats impossible. It gets toad away. 2. Amidst all the stress, anxiety and worries, a smile can help you brighten your day. Start your day on a positive and lighter note with these funny daily affirmations and quotes to get you through. My feelings are just like acquaintances, they come and go., 5. If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanket back to your side. I dont need you to remind me of my age at work, I have a bladder that will do that for me. 22. 188. If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. I intend to live forever. 237. I hope you enjoyed this article on funny affirmations! Nothing, they just waved. No one is immune to self-sabotage, heartbreak, loss, and failure. 28. When and How to Let Them Know, How To Cheer Yourself Up When Feeling Down, 5 Things To Discuss With Your Partner Before Marriage, Funny Positive Affirmations For Self-Esteem, 50+ Powerful Positive Affirmations For Exams, 70+ Positive Affirmations For Teens From Parents. Never take life seriously. 224. Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up. I wasnt mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if Im mad.. yes, Im mad! 164. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.