He met a nice lady this spring. No one has ever asked him to stop seeing this woman. What is hard for him is that his father wants him to accept this so soon- wants to bring her over to watch our kids and have dinner together. It may not have been a perfect life or relationship, but it was better than this. We havent had time to really adjust to Mom being gone and this only adds to the already devastating heartache. Should I send death certificate to this son? My dad and his girlfriend kinda wait for my granny to die, then he moves her right in after making me get rid of my dog who then also dies in his new home suddenly. I lost my dad who had a great relationship with me for 50+ years.. My kids had a great grandpa for 15+ years. Feel free to PM me if you'd like to talk, I definitely know how it feels sometimes. I am married and living about an hour from my parents house. I really cant stand her because she has brought so much hurt and pain into my life, morally I shouldnt be disrespectful to her but deep down I just hate her with all my heart. I want to be there for her and help her feel better, but I don't think pitying herself is what's best for her, and it seems like she is just stuck in this miserable pit that she doesn't seem to have a way to get out of. Try to be upbeat when you are around them. She is disliked because she is thoroughly dislikeable and it is her victims who are worthy of pity. Any advice? In fall of 2015 my stepfather announced he would be taking the friend on a trip out of the country. They had small get-together at my Dads house after the wedding and my Dad simply did not look happy that night. I was married for 24 years, had a familly and it began to grow. The women he dated didnt respond to him like he had hoped. We were home a week then they left again on a trip to Hawaii. The getting into my dads house and rearranging personal stuff that is the thing that was worse than the fact that she existed. Is this normal for your country? Plus, I feel like she is somehow trying to get in good with us by buying gifts and donating money to the charity walks that we do in my Moms memory, and it makes me mad that she is pretending to be a family friend or something. I am not casting doubt on this woman or saying she is financially motivated. He seemed to believe that because he had suffered through years of my Mothers illness that this was what he deserved. Communicating with him is like trying to squeeze blood from a turnip. We do not live together. Murdaughs wife, Maggie, and son, Paul, were found fatally shot on the familys Islandton property on June 7, 2021. If she calls when Im there or I come in, he gets off the phone. But it seems that for right now, what makes him feel better is pushing our family apart. This woman is everything my Mum was not. WebIf you inherit the house, it's perfectly legal for your parents to set conditions on you taking ownership. When she retired she moved in full time leaving her family down south. I AM NOT nor will I ever be a daughter to Ellen. And they got married one year after my mother passed away. 6 months after her death, my father announced that he had been dating a new woman and asked if my wife and I wanted to meet her. Moving on with life as he says. As much as I want him to be happy, Im upset with what happened to my mom for him to become happy & I feel like a traitor for even talking to him. One of the friends that I talked to took it upon herself to call the girlfriend and tell her all my complaints and now my Dad is so mad at me, blaming me cause the girlfriend is upset and is possibly moving out. I will love him forever and no one will take his place. We never get any notice just a call to say shes coming or gone. Try going to the movies, the shooting range, yoga, a football game, the aquarium, or some other activity that she loves. I was angry for a long time and this strained my relationship with my dad. Dont tag grieving relatives in photos of the dead online. They should use some decorum, show some respect for their childrens MOTHER, and think about the example they are setting for their GRANDCHILDREN. We enjoyed many of the same things, and we were eager to try some new ones. It seems that tonight, my world was shattered all over again after his phone call. My father is with this person every single day & calls him at least 3 times a day. She asked me and my fianc if we would come stay and help her out. She said that she has insecurities. However, and this is the crux of the matter- it is my father from whom I am owed a duty of care and not from her. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. We both live right next door to Dads old home place. I wasnt actively looking for anyone but the opportunity presented itself thru my church. Ugh!! It also might be time for your now 18 year old sister to get a part time job to contribute towards the household. Dear Erin, Im sorry that you havent been able to share your grief with your mother at a time when youre both reeling from this tremendous loss. However, and hobbies that morning. That is why I really cant feel bad towards this womanif it wasnt her, it would be someone else. The same goes for everything you have in life; you never know when your life will change, and you may not have a roof over your head or a hot meal to eat. time. It is important, however, to keep in mind that you are the child. You must decide yourself. From this minute I got there that morning, my sister was already there, and Dad he kept trying to rush the evadible . A big man he was 64 and he was like a big teddy bear. Our relationship is strained and I feel a double loss as someone mentioned in a previous post. Did not care that this 410 person was losing some much weight she was skin and bone, I finally got her to switch to different doctor who after the first test (which the other had done several times) knew exactly what was wrong , she had stomach cancer. If we had to make a 100 mile round trip to save her a 2 mile detour hed want to save her the trouble. I just met her last night in the hospital as he is waiting to see what is wrong with his heart. This was hard on me and because I was taking it so bad, my mom began to too. All I can say is I am so glad that I came across this website. But she needs help. One year later (almost exactly), my dad told my sister and I that he was engaged. My husband was witnessing all of this at work but hadnt been told of this new shop until the day before it was due to open. I dont know if Im reading to much into this. This way if anything happened I would be able to be there. I attemped suicide several times, and quit caring anout myself. When I asked if they were planning to marry I was told it was none of my business. But what he doesnt get is that I dont want to talk to him in front of her. However that does not mean the living spouse is to stop their life. She wrote: I will always remember when we went to go see Zero Dark Thirty with him. Whitney came to the movie expecting a thrilling performance by Jessica Chastain, but instead got my counter-terrorism expert father giving an in-depth and slightly terrifying film analysis. I am tired of my feelings being invalidated and being made out to be the bad guy. We are a tiny island and so property prices will always be high even now when property and land has dropped substantially. Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. One time he called me bawling when he got off of work because he picked up the phone and thought "I should call my wife to let her know I'm coming home." I cant remember what happened between my entering the room and the paramedics arrival. It was profoundly lonely and its not just the loss of intimicy, its more then that. I was polite to her and to my dad. Your relationship may not last but the pain will most certainly endure. He would not let us grieve in our time. My mother passed away 5 months ago from cancer. My kids were disappointed that they didnt see him that much. Now that times are hard, hes working at Wal-mart and my father-in-law is working the original shop and his girlfriend is having high success at the second shop. If somebody loses a parent, the remaining parent should not engage in a relationship until a reasonable time has passed. But you are the one who is grieving, not your Father, and you can experience it any number of ways. I thought I would be happier, but Im not. Please dont ever tell your spouse or children that you dont want them to ever get married again if you die, I dont think that is the right thing to say to anyone. Funny I said to my husband recently that if someone had said to me that for the amount of money I may inherit I could have not gone through 35 years of trauma I would gladly have given up the cash. Let me be clear- I am thrilled that my dad has a companion in his life- they have fun together and hes got a traveling companion. 2) this new woman existed It was ridiculous. Never. We never built a very close relationship while my mother was alive, but now that she's gone we find ourselves calling each other constantly. The woman he was dating is a wonderful, genuine respectful woman. You might find that if she is really messed up over this that she's letting things slide and fall apart. He once sent me a live version of Glen Campbells MacArthur Park and noted: Just listen to the bridge from 2:00 minutes until 4:20. I have 4 kids (teens) who I am being very honest with but careful not to introduce anyone as a replacement for their mother no one will ever take that place. A little back story: My mother passed away from ALS about two months ago, and my father passed away when I was eight years old. I understand and accept that. I dont want him to feel abandoned or cast aside. Sure, I want him to be happy, but does he really have to be so doggone thrilled and gleeful about it? He was diagnosed last year March and just quickly got worse even started losing his memory walking around the house tearing curtains down we even had to hide his car keys he wanted to go to work. This was a 6.5 year period yikes. They found out she had stage 4 pancreatic cancer and that she was near the end. Here are 100 things that happened after my mom died. While they were gone I went to the house and the girlfriend had packed up a ton of my Moms things. Blaming your father or his girlfriend or anyone else who you feel has caused your sadness will not help you find happiness. He was 91 and still healthy. I had a big talk with him over the holidays and told him how I felt. She didn't want that. He focuses his energy on what is right in front of him and never really considers how he is affecting anyone else. I am 16 year old boy. According to him, he had already grieved over her and had moved on. I was very upset with him, I told him they were only going to give them a couple hundred dollars, and that some of those rings belonged to my Moms side of the the family, and so he found out we were right but he sold the auction house two of them. With so little communication one could only conclude that it is based on attraction rather than having a lot in common. Because, even though my Father-in-law needed someone in his life, someone that made something spark again, and even though shes there to take care of him and take him on the trips hed planned on doing with his wife, my husband and his siblings lost their mother. And remind yourself of the ways that her connection with him was different than yours. She had fallen out of love with my dad a long time ago, she had told me, but I was worried about who would take care of her. This has been very therapeutic for me. We all are just about as happy as we make our mind up to be. Now he wants one. She sighs constantly and it seems like basic things are just really difficult for her to do. But then again, it is Till death do us part. Its been a long nearly 10 years since my Mom passed away and while I hate to bring religion or the afterlife into the conversation, I do believe I will see my Mom again one day. Her and I had a petty argument on something so stupid. The obligation I had to keep her entertained and out and about (which was every weekend without fail although I have my own family) is now over! They were none. Its not report and elsewhere. I am a 41 yr old widower, father of three kids, daughter 8 and twin 6 yr. old boys, who lost his wife of 11 years, the last five she was sick and dying of colon cancer. Would it make these adult children happier if their remaining parent curl up in a ball in the corner, wear black everyday and sit in the house the rest of their life? For him, its not good enough that we have a nice relationship with her he wants us to be one big, happy, loving family. I cannot believe how selfish some of these comments are. They analyze all of their failed relationships, reminisce, and learn about each other more deeply. He says that if you grieve over someones death, it is because you are not right with God. It made the situation so much worse. #fyp #viral #chiaraactress I gulped down fear, as I rushed to find out what was happening. My mother passed away on October 30th, 2005, a week before my 17th birthday. Mum moving on soon after dads death | Mumsnet How could my father do this to me, the memory of my mom!!?? Are they just suppose to just live their life around their kids and other relatives without a mate. WebMy father is dating after my mother died - Find single woman in the US with mutual relations. Everyone is going on with their lives, this hasnt stopped.. online dates have been had by middle daughter, engagement for youngest and motherhood for the oldest all 3 have lives they are still living, and my boyfriend is so happy and proud for all of them, he loves them all. You think your Dads behavior is bizare. mother When Ellen and my Dad got married I will never forget one of her friends being at the house at the wedding reception and walking up to me and saying So you are Ellens new daughter? I thought I would nearly fall over! It absolutely makes me feel like Im not wanted. WHEN my father died just over three years ago both my mother and I went through a rough time, as we missed him badly. My dad died of cancer lung and colon November 2008. Id take him out to sporting events of our favorite teams. This woman is playing him, I feel sure. Dad died, my older brother, and i am 26 years old family. ET (Eastern Time) Monday to Friday, or between 10 a.m. and 6 p.m. The S flat out told me he did not have a problem with our dating. She has a man who does not call, care or as my mother begged him, wrote him and told him, when I die, please take care of our girls. That was tough, as it was my Moms house too and this woman just moved in and took over. a Family Member I was raised after my brother passed away at 26, that you can not expect someone to remain alone in life and to support them in their choices. Ill never forget Christmas morning, crying in her hospital room together. My dad had been laid off and began taking care of her at home since she wasnt physically able to take care of herself. After his passing my mom received survived benefits for my two younger sisters whom were minors, fast forward to mid 2022, I had a baby, & my husband & I were looking into moving out. With this same situation here at home, my wife, her dads girlfriend just died. Consider whether this is a kind and good person or whether you are grabbing a passing life raft. After she passed I found myself feeling very responsible for his well-being. This was on August 26. Im sorry but she is not my mother and never will be. Are you my twin? The worst part is that I cant even say anything because I dont want to embarrass him or start a fight. It is made all the harder for you because you feel this woman is unworthy and the relationship is too soon and too in your face. Those are my personal beliefs and I feel though she is gone she is still with me. Its a beautifully horrifying memory that is vivid to this day. So I thought I would reach out to this community. Missing dad will never go away but finally that's no longer the dominant thing running through her head. For us, when my dad died, my mother was grief-stricken for almost 10 years afterwards. My dad has also been lazy too since it. Take up a club, but dont take my dad now that my mom just died. I just pray so much that the lady he is dating is the woman she says she is and that she and I can find a way to bond over common interests. Shame on you. He was very sick for a long time before he died with cancer. Life is very short and fleeting so take a deep breath and shine your moms light for her. How dare I try to prevent him from moving on? I finally started having dinner myself on the Sunday after Thanksgiving and having them and my brother over. We dont have to be happy about this situation, and I dont have to have them over for dinner every week, but my Father-in-law can still be in our lives and I can be civil to this woman. She whispers to him or says a few words or sentences, but thats it.